What.  A.  Day.  Let me start off by saying that Adele does not appear to be taking the crib being lower well.  She woke up super early and played in our bed for awhile dozed off again for a few minutes than played again.  When everyone woke up (me and the kids)  We got dressed, had breakfast, than drove to High Springs for the citywide yardsale.  It was pretty bad.  But I did get Gwyn a pair of shoes, Adele a ride/push toy, and a push popper.  I also found a backpack for Gwyn's 72 hr kit.   Unfortunately it was the only one I found so I'm still looking for one for Chandler.  We stopped by another sale on the way home but that was even worse than the other one.  I was wore out so I started the bread machine and flaked on the couch and watched Grimm and Up all Night.  Adele took a very short nap and spent the afternoon being a crank pot.  At 1:30 we left to take Chandler to Tyler's birthday party.  We stopped at Walgreens and Chandler spent his own money to by Tyler a gift.  I love that kid.  On the way there I turned down the wrong road and took a long way to High Springs!  UGH!  I called Mike to help me find the road I was looking for, the connection kept dropping out so he is yelling at me, Chandler is fussing at me cause we are late and lost, and Adele has had it so she is fussing in the back.  Finally we get on the right road and get there 30 mins late.  On the way home I got myself Wendy's because I am upset and I eat when I am upset.  The wait was so long and I am getting more and more frustrated by the second.  Finally I am second in lone to the window and when the person in front of me leaves, a lady ON FOOT steps in front of my car to complain to the lady at the window.  ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME??!!!  *bad thoughts*  Finally she leaves and I get my food and get Gwyn something at Mcdonalds.  At 4 I take Gwyn and Adele to Screaming for Safety.  Kind of boring and not stroller friendly but Gwyn got candy so she was happy.  I was so tired, hot, and frustrated that when we got home and issued it a serve yourself night.  Mom's on strike.    I went and got Chandler at 8.  Tyler's grandparents are such good people.  I haven't yet felt comfortable leaving Chandler anywhere yet but I really trust them.  They are good and caring people.  They seem to have the same views on raising Tyler as I do my kids.  Chandler had a great time tonight.  I am glad he was able to go.  I really hope Gwyn starts making friends and starts getting invites to places.  I don't recall her getting any yet or in preschool.  I worry that she is not adapting well socially.  But of course I can't observe and maybe it's just mother's worry.

Tonight I prayed for Gwyn and her making friends. I prayed for calmness with me, I prayed for Mike and his business, and to find my motivation.

Adele and I didn't go to any playdates today.  Other than a quick run to publix to meet a lady who wanted to buy an outfit I was selling and picking up some chinese food, we spent the day at home.  I finished catching up on Supernatural on netflix and started the new season on Hulu.  I worked on a crochet project for a science swap I am in while watching the show.  When the kids got home we ran to another store to pick up some pjs I bought for Gwyn.  When we got home and I laid Adele  down for her afternoon nap, she stood up and flipped out of the crib.  Guess it's time to lower it!  Mike lowered it when he got home cause I didn't want to deal with all that mess.  Wayne came over for a short time tonight.  Sometimes he really pushes my buttons.  First thing he saw coming in was the new chore chart on the wall and started ordering the kids to do their chores.  Please don't parent my children when I am around.  It's not your place.  grr.  On a brighter note we had a nice family movie night tonight with pizza and popcorn.  We watched the Avengers.  Chandler seemed to like it.  After the movie was over and the kids went to bed, Mike and I kind of had a little spat.  Sometimes he can really push my buttons too. Making rude little snappy comments all night to me and than accusing me of being the one in a bad mood.  He always accuses me of always thinking it's my fault, well gee I wonder why.  ARRRGHH!  So he stormed out and I watched Snow White and the Huntsman by myself.  Whatever, his lose.

Tonight I prayed for the well being of my kids and Michael, I prayed for each person individually.  I prayed for  my motivation for loosing weight.  I prayed for Mike;s business.  I prayed that we will be able to move at the beginning of next year.

Today was a pretty good day except for the stomach pains I've had most of the day.  Adele and I had another nice day at the park with other mommies and babies.  I had a salted caramel hot chocolate which I think might have been the reason for the tummy pains.  I think I am going to self diagnose myself and lactose intolerant along with Gwyn.  I am going to try the no milk thing for awhile to see if my tummy issues go away or get better.  After the park Adele completely crashed.  Slept in the car and slept through me taking her out of her seat an into the house.  Slept for about 2 hours.  She woke up when the kids got home.  After chores and homework, Gwyn and I read a few books for her book-it.  During one of the books we both looked down and Adele was standing!  She finally pulled herself up to standing on the couch.  I am so excited!  She is finally catching up and getting stronger everyday!  Tonight I also went to Relief Society meeting.  We talked about setting up our 72 hour kits.  I really need to get on the ball with that. Also with food storage.  I think I will go to the high springs city yard sale this Saturday to see if I can find a few cheap backpacks or suitcases to get started with that project.

Tonight I prayed for motivation for weight loss, continuing to find my happiness, Adele continuing with her progression, and Mike's company.  I thanked Heavenly Father for the opportunity to meet new ladies and for the chance to get out with Adele during the day.  I thanked him for my husband and kids and for Adele's progression.

BTW I won a week at the gym.  Its a short time but I am wondering if it a step for my weight loss?

Today was a nice but busy day.  After I dropped the kids off at school, me and Adele went to Lowes to buy the supplies I needed to start my shoe closet re do.  After that we went home and had breakfast and left for our playdate at Westside Park in Gainesville.  I was very nervous as I always am around new faces but it went really well.  I got along well with the other ladies and Adele seemed to have a good time.  The weather was fantastic.  Nice and cool.  I am looking forward to the playdate tomorrow.  I might actually make a few friends.    After the playdate, I met with a lady off my FSOT group on facebook to pick a highchair for Adele.  Than we went to dollar general to pick up a few things.  Salad dressing, I got a financial journal hopefully to help me track my spending, glow sticks for glow in the dark bathtime, and some snacks for Adele for tomorrow's playdate.  Than we got home and had about 30 mins before the kids got home.  When they did get home we went back to Gainesville and got Gwyn's haircut, went back home, got dressed and went to gymnastics.  Mike took the missionaries to Jacksonville today and he called during practice to tell me he wouldn't get back in time to take Chandler to scouts.  UGH!  SO we went home and did some of our chores.  We had about an hour so I laid Adele down for a nap that she hasn't had all day.  When it was time to go, I got Adele up and changed when Mike walked through the door.  HORRAY!  He took Chandler to scouts, Gwyn did her homework.  We had dinner at Wendy's and than everyone went to bed.  I am exhausted.  Oh BTW, during the hair cut I was playing lap games with Adele to keep her busy.  I often do the lean back thing with her because she likes to be upside down. I hold her hands while she does this. However she usually keeps her legs around me anchor herself but this time she decided to throw her legs up a little.  It caught me off guard and when she flipped her head back her whole body flipped around EXCEPT her arms!!  It completely freaked me out and I swore I broke her arms.  She didn't cry and though for a moment of panic I thought her arms looked weird and out of joint she seems fine.  I don't know how her arms did that though.  I am considering calling the doctor tomorrow because I am still sick to my stomach about it.

Tonight I prayed again for my weight, my motivation, Adele's arms, and Mike's business.   I thanked Heavenly Father for the opportunity to meet new people today and that Adele had a good time at the park.

Okay so other than that moment of craziness from my last post, my day was full of more crazy and a bit of psycho.  I had my dental appointment today for my last filling.  It was a bit bigger than they originally  thought so they had a difficult time with it.  They got it done but he cautioned me that because it was so big there could be a need for a root canal.  I have another appt November 13 to fill in a small spot in the front and to fix a stain and correct the length of the front teeth.  I am excited for that.  Looking forward to having a nice smile for once in my life.  Still need to do the implants though and invisaline.
I also sent out 2 packages for some swaps I am in on Ravelry.

Adele was rather fussy today.  She has a pretty bad diaper rash and of course I couldn't find the freaking butt paste anywhere.  Why are things always laying around until you need them?  Huge annoyance of mine.  So I put on some petroleum jelly.  Don't know if it will work but it's at least something.

Chandler and Gwyn were at each others throats today.  You know some days I really just want to turn a blind eye and let them take each other out.  I mean really a huge death cage match between the two of them.  That would be quite the lame fight though.  Gwyn would dance around him singing an annoying song to get under his skin and Chandler would get his serious face and command her to stop constantly. eh. I want my money back!

Mike worked late tonight in the storage locker but when he got home we took a shower and had a very emotional talk.  All about our stresses right now and insecurities.  Why we haven't been clicking and why we are so annoyed.  I talked about my weight issues, my loneliness issues, and my self esteem in general.  How I hate exercise but I want to look good for him.  I want friends but have no way to meet them.  He talked about how he hates that he can't support me like he feels he should.  Stresses of buying a new house, who he is.  Nothing was really solved but it was nice to finally unload emotionally with him and to finally hear where he is at.  I honestly feel a bit better too.  Plus we had nice sex afterwards. HA!

Tonight I prayed a lot.  I prayed again for my weight loss and motivation.  I prayed for each of our issues brought up.  I prayed the most for Mike's company and that business will pick up and that it will continue going well.

Brace yourself... it's about to get all emo and pity party up in here!

Why don't I have any friends?  I am seriously depressed with all the ladies on facebook getting together and having a good time and I am sitting here so freaking lonely.  Would it kill to toss me an invite?  What is it about me that just turns people away?  Do I stink?  Am I boring?  Of course I don't get mad drunk and gossip about other ladies so maybe I am in other people's eyes.  I get told all the time what a sweet and nice person I am (heh)  but no one bothers to try to hang out with me.  What I would give to have just one damn friend.  Mike goes to work all day plays racquet ball with his friend and goes to D&D every other night with a group of friends.  My mom is busy all the time with my little sister.  My sister llives 2 hours away and we don't really have that best friend relationship.  The rest of the family lives 4-5 hours away.  I'm not friends with any of Mike's sisters.  I'm not even on their radar. Not friends with anyone at church.  I just sit here all day with no one.  When I am upset I have no one.  With I want a girls night.. I have no one.  But I get to see pictures and read statuses of acquaintences going out and having a great time together or read posts about best friends.  I just wish I knew what I am doing wrong.. why people don't want to be around me.

Today started fairly decent.  I got up got the kids ready for school.  I played a bit too many facebook games cause I was late with making their lunches but we still got out of the house on time.  On the way to school though I got a serious rumble in the tummy.  Oh man!  I have got to use the bathroom.  I thought I could wait till I dropped the kids off and get back home but than it hit me like a brick!  I have got to go NOW.

I HAVE TO POOP!

Luckily there is a gas station right on the corner.  Sweet relief.  Unfortunately it was a one person bathroom so Gwyn and Adele had to come in with me.  Sorry Gwyn!

I also finished my chapter readings for class and took the exam.  Only missed 1!  WHOOO HOO!  I am doing really well in this class. I am proud of me.  It's nice to feel smart for once.

Adele started to push up on her legs today.  Sort of like a bridge or a downward dog yoga position.  I am so excited for the progression.  Maybe she is starting to finally catch up.  She is such a cutie pie.  I am so thankful she is in my life.  She always brings a smile to my face... other than when she is screaming at my feet while I try to cook.  That's not so much cute.

Mike and Chandler played some video games (Castle Crashers) together tonight.  That's always nice to watch.  A bit crazy at points but nice.  We also read another chapter in The Hobbit as a family.  Gwyn definitely doesn't seem very interested in it at all.  But than again neither do I.  But I enjoy the family time and doing something together.  I often fear we don't do that enough.

During personal prayer tonight I prayed for Heavenly Father to help me with my weight loss. To help me find whatever motivation I need, whatever system or exercise that will work for me since I had no luck so far.  Oddly enough, half way  during the prayer for exercise, I went into a tearful prayer for happiness. For what ever reason I am just not happy.  Maybe that's what is holding me back and what I really needed to pray for.  I have a great life with wonderful kids and though he pisses me off sometimes I have a great husband,  I don't know why I am unhappy but lately I just am.  So I prayed for that happiness I am missing.  I prayed for heavenly father to put me where ever I will be happy.  I prayed for the guidance and the direction to find whatever is missing.  Hopefully the answer will come and hopefully if it does I will know it when I see it.

Now time for bed.  I bid you adieu.